leem0r is downstairs on wireless, coding. silly human. I should be asleep, and will be soon.
I got back to http://www.livejournal.com/~happypete/friends?skip=350&filter=0 in my journal before recognizing stuff I've read b4. Congrats to chelona on the new job, BTW!
The viewing was awkward, difficult, sad, and yet somehow helpful. It was a closed casket...which I guess I expected, but somehow when they say "viewing," I assume that they really mean it. There was a really nice retrospective slide show of happy moments, family photos, etc., going...folks from work had gotten family photos, scanned them in. Our sysadmin drove this huge plasma screen and massive stand over from work and set it up with the laptop...
I think everyone in the company, plus a surprisingly large number of ex-coworkers...it was impressive. I think they ran out of pages to sign in in the "friends and relatives" memory book!
Don was so loved...this was not your average boss or CEO...this is a guy who, with the active support of his partners and leadership team, made a company into a professional and personal home. Our partners were all there. Tim was projecting strenght, but I could tell that inside he was hurting. Rob didn't look like he'd slept. At all. I told them I'd do anything they needed to help them personally or to help the company--not sucking up...from the heart. I think that my feeling on this is reflected across the firm, the families, the friends...there's this big hole in our lives...it's so big that I think the sheer size of it has shocked us senseless. I know that if someone had told me that I'd have this sort of reaction to the hypothetical news of Don dying, or one of the other partners, I would have said that it would have been upsetting and I would have felt badly...my estimate, apparently, is orders of magnitude wrong.
Don's widow, Laura, told Pam to not let me near planes. Understandable sentiment. Laura and her kids were bearing up, they were...Colin, almost two, wasn't there. I think they're almost handling this better than me--at least in public. I imagine when the room is empty of visitors, grief must return.
I miss him. I will miss him.
I aplogize for not commenting...many of you have written entries, some inviting comment, some that made me want to comment...I just literally between work and grief and Quinn and helping Pam have nothing left...it must get better soon.