Peter 'Happy' Thomas (happypete) wrote,
Peter 'Happy' Thomas
happypete

How not to hunt

To start, don't tell us, your new neighbors, that you'll be hunting.

When we get home, don't flag us down or greet us. Just drive off the driveway into the woods of one of the vacant lots adjoining our shared driveway. [At this point, prettypammie's and my "weirdness radar" is starting to go off. I call the Loudoun Sherriff's non-emergency number, and begin my report of potential weirdness in progress].

Now that you've started to freak the neighbors out, drive back out of the woods, and turn up their driveway. [Freakout factor kicks in to overdrive]. Drive off the driveway into our neighbor's pasture, the one that said neighbor has offered for our horses to use when we get the barn built.

Now that you have travelled through three out of four lots of the family subdivision, and on the driveway easement and "borrowed pasture" of the fouth, trespassing in two cases, violating the terms of your lease, and panicking your new neighbors completely, all you need to do is hang out until the Sheriff's office arrives. For extra drama, right as the police are about to turn up the driveway, get back in your car and act as if you are going to flee.

Congratulations! You've successfully demonstrated "How Not To Hunt."

I guess the "No tresspassing" sign at the head of the shared driveway is not enough. I'm going to have to go post signs in the woods along the property line above the house, the entrance to our driveway, etc.

Side-note on the foot: orthopedist follow-up is tomorrow. I had been feeling pretty good--hadn't felt the need for tylenol or ice in quite a wihle. Sadly, it started throbbing again tonight--and then on top of that, I stumbled on a step going down the stairs and touched down on the bad foot. It was just a "light bounce," not my full weight at all. Nonetheless, I got a really weird "electric shock" feeling from my foot as I clutched the railing and recovered.
Tags: hunting, stupid human tricks
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  • 17 comments

  • Farewell

    photognome died of heart failure yesterday. I don't have words right now.

  • My tweets

    Tue, 11:00: Pulling a full 250 KW and over 1,000 miles per hour charge rate at the new Reston teslamotors #SuperCharger. @ Wieh……

  • My tweets

    Fri, 19:57: Mixed meat meatballs, sauteed vegetables, loaded mashed potatoes with da_valentine and friends @ Corolla, North Car……